Fine.The Smallest Word with the Biggest Story

Gina Maeir Vincent, Exquisitely Aligned

Long before I became fascinated by the language of modern life, I became fascinated by one particular word.

In our family, “fine” has never been considered a complete answer. If one of our children answered, “Fine,” I would remind them, “We strive for better than fine.” Not because I expected every day to be extraordinary, but because “fine” rarely told the whole story. A day could hold laughter, disappointment, pride, beauty, frustration, or wonder. The word was not necessarily inaccurate. It was simply incomplete.

There was a time when fine was one of the highest compliments we could give. Fine art. Fine jewelry. Fine wine. Fine dining. Fine china. Fine craftsmanship. The word represented quality, discernment, beauty and extraordinary care.

Somewhere along the way, however, we quietly demoted it.

Today, fine has become the most common answer to one of life’s most important questions.

“How are you?”

“Fine.”

As adults, we become remarkably fluent in using the word. It is efficient. It requires no explanation, invites little curiosity, and asks very little of anyone.

Somewhere along the way, fine stopped being a compliment and became a conclusion. It dismisses delight as quickly as disappointment. It compresses a complicated life into a single syllable. The conversation ends before curiosity has a chance to begin.

I do not believe most people are hiding the truth. I think they are still discovering it.

Life is rarely experienced in absolutes. A season can be successful and quietly lonely. A marriage can feel secure while longing for new conversation. Work can be meaningful and less engaging than it once was. Gratitude and restlessness can exist together.

“Fine” becomes the word we reach for when the fuller answer has not yet found its language.

As a modern culture observer, I have come to believe that the quality of our language often reflects the quality of our attention. We once used fine to signal that something deserved closer examination. Today, we often use it to prevent one.

We expect excellence from our architects, chefs, designers, vintners, jewelers and artisans. We admire the distinctions that separate the exceptional from the ordinary. We have become wonderfully discerning about the things surrounding us.

I sometimes wonder when we stopped expecting that same discernment from the lives we are living.

Perhaps that is why I have come to think of it as The Fine Line™… the answer we give before anyone finishes asking how we are. Sometimes it is completely true. Sometimes it is perfectly sufficient. But sometimes it marks the place where curiosity ends before truth has had a chance to speak.

In our family, we have always strived for better than fine.

Perhaps the greatest luxury isn’t living a fine life. It’s no longer being willing to call it one.

Gina Maier Vincent is the founder of Exquisitely Aligned® and creator of Underliving™. She speaks and works privately with accomplished people ready for a life that does more than simply work. Learn more at ExquisitelyAligned.com.