Intentional Hearts
As January unfolds with its familiar chorus of gym memberships and diet plans, I find myself reflecting on a different kind of resolution—one that won't be measured in pounds lost or dollars saved, but in the quality of presence we bring to our most precious relationships.
Last year, while attending my coaching certification symposium, I witnessed something extraordinary. Five husbands, whose wives had transformed their marriages, shared their perspectives on what really mattered. One comment stopped me in my tracks: "Just treat me like your best friend. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, please don't say it to me either."
Such simple wisdom, yet how often do we forget this in the daily dance of marriage? We carefully choose our words with friends, offering encouragement and respect. But with our spouses—the ones we claim to love most—we sometimes slip into patterns of criticism, control, or casual dismissiveness that we'd never inflict on a friend.
The Person You Choose to Be
This year, instead of focusing solely on what we want to accomplish, what if we asked ourselves: "Who do I want to be?" Not just in the big moments, but in the Tuesday evening chaos when homework isn't done, dinner is burning, and everyone needs something different
Will I be the stressed-out conductor of a chaotic orchestra, barking orders and sighing heavily? Or will I be the calm presence who remembers that connection matters more than perfection? The choice begins with a radical act: planning for our own happiness, not as a luxury squeezed in after everyone else's needs are met, but as a foundation for showing up as our best selves. When we tend to our own well-being—whether through morning meditation, afternoon walks, or simply saying no to one more commitment—we create space to respond rather than react.
The Friendship Test
Here's a practice I'm embracing this year: Before speaking to my husband, I pause and ask, "Would I say this to my best friend?" Would I tell my best friend she's loading the dishwasher wrong? Would I roll my eyes at her story because I've heard it before? Would I interrupt her to correct minor details that don't matter?
The answer guides me toward kindness. It reminds me that the man I married deserves the same courtesy, curiosit, and celebration I offer my dearest friends. Maybe even more.
Your Relational Revolution
As you craft your intentions for 2026, consider including these relationship resolutions:
Schedule self-care like you would any important meeting
Practice the pause before responding in heated moments
Choose curiosity over criticism when differences arise
Celebrate small moments of connection as enthusiastically as big achievements
This year, let's measure success not by our productivity but by our presence, not by what we achieve but by how we love.
Happy New Year!
Jola Cruise
If you are interested in relationship coaching, please contact Jola: Email: hello@jolacruisecoaching.com Complimentary Love Breakthrough Session: www.callwithjola.com Facebook: jola.cruise